'No Pardah Is Bigger Than Someone's Health And Life': Naushad

Naushad (23) grew up watching the women in his house cooking meals in the kitchen. He would see them doing household chores even in sickness and scorching heat. Purdah too was a way of life for them.

During the lockdown of 2020, Naushad was married to Maalsa Parveen (20). Following what he saw as the norms of his community and religion, he would hardly speak to her in front of the public and forced her to wear Purdah in front of others.

Naushad comes from a minority religion and is a daily wage worker. He lives in a slum community of Gani Kanaura, Uttar Pradesh, with his extended family and is the sole earner of the family.

In 2021, he started attending dialogue circles facilitated by Yeh Ek Soch Foundation where he learned to question gender norms. He regularly participated in this space with young men and boys from similar backgrounds. Their similarity made it easier for them to open up, share their lived experiences and hold healthy conversations.

During the dialogue circles, the statements like these were discussed:

"Women are responsible for household work."

At the beginning most of the participants including Naushad agreed with the statement. However as the discussion progressed, and took a personal turn, Naushad felt empathetic towards his wife. He took these discussions as an opportunity to share the unsettling feeling he carries within him seeing the amount of household work his wife does.

He asked the question, "Why are men never expected to do the household work the same way women are?"

During the discussion that followed, some other men in the group shared that they believe that everyone living in the house should be responsible for the house work. Naushad realized there were two sides to the story and he has only been told one since birth.

But bringing change, even within his own house, was not so easy. It was not just his decision to take. One day something happened which changed the story forever.

While Naushad was at work, his wife Maalsa, fainted at home. Even though Naushad's brother was at home, he didn't help Maalsa, because he was hesitant to go near her given her Pardah. Fortunately, Naushad made it home in time and rushed his wife to the hospital.

This incident made him seriously question and rethink his beliefs.

"No Pardah is bigger than someone's health and life," he said to his family later that evening. He assured Maalsa and his family that step by step these binding customs and traditions will gradually have to change and their family must engage in more conversations around breaking gender stereotypes.

This seemingly little step is a game-changer in Naushad and his family's life.

Naushad is a part of the Gender Jagrik Intervention where he has been actively participating in the dialogue circles. Taking this a step further he has been holding similar conversations and dialogue circles with 10 young men and boys of his community.

Gender Jagrik, an innovation by the vartaLeap Coalition, aims at impacting gender norms by engaging with "Insiders" young men and boys in the age group of 15 to 29 years who are aware about the gender based injustice, violence and discrimination and are inspired to change the unequal distribution of power and privileges.

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